A love-hate affair with my homicidal ideation
When my eyes welled,
he said stop.

When I asked for advice,
he said no.
When work was harsh,
he said go.
When I needed help,
I was on my own.
He told me it was all necessary to be a man.
But, I was only a child—needing a dad.
Now that I'm an adult, I wonder what he has to say.
My hand is on his throat, but no words today.